7 Reasons It Sucked To Be A New Yorker This Weekend

1. Shit Still Falling From Sky: No longer content to shed construction willy-nilly from its own office building, the New York Times recruited a neighboring skyscraper in its cunning plan to terrorize people in and around Times Square.
2. Shit Now Also Falling From El Trains: “A freak accident in Queens has left a woman in critical condition after a tree branch fell and struck her in the head.”
3. Not Falling From Heaven? Cash. “The number of New Yorkers who declared bankruptcy was up 31% over the first seven months of 2008, according to a new report.” [NYDN]
4. Deadly Mosquitos. Let the West Nile virus games begin! So long as they stay in the Bronx and Queens, clearly. [WNBC]
5. Assaulting Taxicabs. Sunday’s taxi (two) vs. pedestrian (six) accident will teach you not to hail so hard next time. (Honestly though, does a week go by where there isn’t a taxi vs. pedestrian accident in New York? If only Cash Cab’s Ben Bailey would run me over. Swoon.)
6. Torah-Stealing Positively Rampant. A synagogue in Queens was robbed of seven torahs over the weekend. Sounds like a lame pile of plunder, until you find out they’re worth over half a million bucks. [WNBC]
7. Purple Pigeon Painters Among Us. Someone found a poor pigeon covered in purple paint in Queens on Friday.  Now, normally, I am of the “pigeons are flying rats kill them all” school, but that’s just not very nice.