Olympic Gymnastics: Reminding You Just How Pointless Your Yoga Routine Really Is

August 10, 2008

[Insert dreamy drawn-out sigh here.]

You know what?  I love the Olympics. Love it.  Goodwill, Pan-Am?  Meh.  They can’t produce moments like this.  Until U.S. gymnast Morgan Hamm pussied out of the Games (yeah, yeah, so mean, I know) the team’s second alternate, Sasha Artemev, had no idea that a day later he’d be stepping in as reliever for the Americans in the pommel horse event. Dude barely got to do a dry run. Watch him kick some everloving ass below anyway and don’t worry, praying for the survival of the gentleman’s balls is customary during this event. Polite, not pervy.

Wishing they were that awesome?  The lady fencers after the jump, whose sport has been reduced from its European Renaissance roots to some kind of hybrid American Gladiator laser tag jousting atop a lifesize ‘Simon’ game. Costume design courtesy of the film Outbreak.  Oy.

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OMG, Now I Have To Go Hug My Pets And/Or Start Drinking

July 18, 2008

“Baby Panda Adopted And Nursed By Cat Dies” [AP]

AP

(AP Photo/ Artis Zoo)


Oh! Well, Thank Goodness.

March 13, 2008

Nonewsroomjobs2-1

To employ a heavy-handed but probably apt metaphor, headlines like this are the journalist’s version of using the cop code “NHI,” for No Humans Involved. Good luck to the reporters working for a newspaper with an enfeebled operations, sales, or circulation department. Your job just got a lot harder, and you’re probably next.


NYPost: ‘Lead,’ ‘Leave,’ Whatever

March 13, 2008

Whoops-1

Oh, it’s only the state governor’s resignation speech, Posties, don’t worry. It’s probably not all that important to get it right.