CNN’s Rick Sanchez, The Most Irritating Name in News

November 10, 2008

I missed this last week, but take a gander at CNN’s most grating anchor, Rick Sanchez, inviting Joe the Plumber on the air and then reading the spottier parts of the man’s credit report—including details of his outstanding medical bills—out loud on the air.

Rick Sanchez, quoted last fall in a flattering New York Observer profile:

“I know it sounds a little hackneyed,” he said, “but defending the little guy is hard these days, and it’s not something that anybody wants to do, and I do it because—not just because I’m a minority—but because I frankly feel what it’s like to be these people who are really downtrodden right now, you know, to be a Mexican immigrant. Because I know what it’s like to be poor.”

Which is probably why the CNN anchor behaved so compassionately in 1990 when he ran over an intoxicated pedestrian (who happened to be a carpenter and later died of his injuries) while driving under the influence in Miami:

“Though Sanchez says he tried to aid Smuzinick at the scene of the accident and flag down motorists, eyewitnesses claim the anchorman ignored the injured man and loudly told police and bystanders that blood tests were pointless, and would hurt his public image.” [Miami New Times]

Sanchez would later be successfully charged with DUI. Some issues with the working man, Sanchez? Or are you just a really big asshole?


This Son-Of-A-Something, That’s For Sure

August 8, 2008

“Edwards made a point of telling Woodruff that his wife’s cancer was in remission when he began the affair with Hunter. Elizabeth Edwards has since been diagnosed with an incurable form of the disease.” [ABC News]

Why yes, of course, Senator John Edwards! You’re perfectly right! In fact, we really ought to be acknowledging the forethought and kindness with which you scheduled your affair with this sketchtastic, kind of skanky-looking lady, whom you then allegedly passed along to your former campaign finance director, Andrew Young, who then—just in time!—apparently impregnated her.

It’s a good thing you waited till after Elizabeth Edwards’ cancer was in remission to start fucking around. Jesus, otherwise, we all might really have thought you were a lowdown, hypocritical, narcissistic lying pietist, which couldn’t possibly be true, given concessionary remarks such as these:

“We, as citizens and as a government, have a moral responsibility to each other, and what we do together matters. We must do better, if we want to live up to the great promise of this country that we all love so much…I want to thank everyone who has worked so hard—all those who have volunteered, my dedicated campaign staff who have worked absolutely tirelessly in this campaign.”

Yeah, hey, especially that Andy Young over there. Dedicated volunteer indeed. Let’s hope for his sake (and it looks likely) that his volunteerism is the mercenary kind.

Oh, Come On Now, Pranay Gupte

July 24, 2008

Pranaygupte4 You wanna be Facebook friends? For reals?

Hmm. Hang on just one sec, mmmkay? My clueless-about-the-media-scene, wet-behind-the-ears, idiotic, intemperate, insulting, overtly hostile white donkey self needs just a wee momentito to consider. [The Pranay Principles]

Meat Loaf ‘Won’t Do That’ But This Was No Problem?

May 5, 2008

That’s it. I will never ever ever belt out Objects In The Rearview Mirror at the top of my eighth-grade lungs into a hairbrush again.

Meat Loaf ‘Won’t Do That’ But This Was No Problem?

May 5, 2008

That’s it. I will never ever ever belt out Objects In The Rearview Mirror at the top of my eighth-grade lungs into a hairbrush again.

The Customer Is Very Nearly Always Totally Screwed

March 17, 2008

Fuckverizon-1 “An 80-year-old Westchester man who kept the voice of his dead wife on his phone message, lost her voice when Verizon upgraded his service. Charles Whiting says he stayed connected to his wife, by calling the phone everyday to hear his wife’s voice saying ‘the Whitings aren’t home.’ Whiting said he immediately called Verizon and waited for an hour for help. He got disconnected, so he called back. After another 90 minutes, he said he was told he couldn’t get the message back and that he would just have to record a new one.” [WNBC]

Jury Says VVM Owes Slightly Crazy Newspaper Editor A Heartfelt Apology. Also, $15.6 Million.

March 5, 2008

L&L-1 Whoa. Seems a jury has slapped Village Voice Media with $15.6 million in damages in the predatory pricing suit brought against them almost four years ago by the San Francisco Bay-Guardian. Seems the goodwill generated for VVM execs in the press last year when a nutty local sheriff arrested them on bogus charges didn’t extend to the California courts. SFBG publisher Bruce Brugmann is, well, an obsessive neurotic whose ego got the better of his sanity when he abandoned his responsibility to protect his paper and employees just to bear out a grudge. (I know! Instead of trying to keep our newspaper afloat by actually competing with the uh, competition or whatever, let’s just sue them for being bigger and meaner than us and bank on a big fat settlement at the end to meet payroll!) Which is a point made convincingly in the statement VVM released after today’s decision. Not that it’s all that easy to see through all its swagger and watch-us-be-clever-ness. “Like Ralph Nader, Bruce Brugmann is out of touch with reality,” it reads. Ho! Ho. Hum. “We have not sought to injure the Bay Guardian; we just don’t want to read it,” is how exec Mike Lacey is quoted. Oh, and Brugmann? Lacey also says your girlfriend’s busted, but he nailed her in ’82 anyway.

[Disclosure, perhaps: Mike Lacey once signed my paychecks. Well, okay, not actually himself.]

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