Occasions Upon Which It Truly Is An Awesome Thing Not To Have A Job

“Dear Body,

Remember when we used to stay out drinking until all hours of the morning and still be able to turn up to work the next day with no noticeable damage?

WHY ARE YOU NO LONGER KEEPING UP YOUR END OF THE DEAL?

Perplexed,
Balk

Dear God, seriously.  And Alex Balk has at least three decades on me.  Also?  Dear Andrew Krucoff: Terribly sorry about that wee clotheslining incident, for which there can be no excuse, because Andrew Krucoff is not frightening in the least, even when he comes up out of nowhere on the street. Well, so far anyway. As compensation, he gets to be Kobe Bryant in this post.

UPDATE: “Krucoff neglects to mention the reason he got stiff-armed is because Maggie thought Lindsay was being molested, since he came at them like the Kool-Aid guy.”  Well…yes.  Yes he did.  And yes. Yes, we were.

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