Tim Russert Keels Over Dead At Work. Sucks.

June 13, 2008


The only thing to say about this is that it’s really sad and I was a fan. Maybe tomorrow I’ll affectionately tease the memory of NBC political analyst, bureau chief and Meet the Press host Tim Russert with something about that ridiculous 8×10 white board he sported during the 2000 election. Maybe not. Now brace yourselves for the slew of speculative pieces in the coming days over which heir apparent will, ought, won’t, should, deserves, has been groomed, and so on to fill that Sunday morning chair. You know Katie Couric’s agent has already made a few calls.

Advertisements

Congrats To A Couple Of Old Colleagues

June 9, 2008

AP Photo/Louis LanzanoIn the sense of former, not, you know, old, okay Tom? Anyway, three cheers for the Village Voice’s Tom Robbins and music ed Rob Harvilla, who both took home nods from this weekend’s Annual AltWeekly Awards for, respectively, their political columns and music criticism.

Rob is hugely talented, hard-working and a great guy. But Tom Robbins will always have a special place in my heart, partly because of a yelling match we once got into about Mike Lacey; partly because he sat three feet behind me when I worked at the Voice and you’ve never eavesdropped on a conversation until you’ve heard the almost daily one wherein Robbins picks up his ringing phone and goes “Eeeyy, Jimmy, what’s the news?” and he means Breslin; but mostly because the guy could have been running the place and still had the class to take me out to lunch—or bring it to me for chrissakes. “We’re just talkin’ here, right, Mag?” he’d say. Always, Tom Robbins, always.

Jesus Christ, it sounds like I’m writing his obit, a mark of a lazy writer if I ever saw one. Sorry. Fucker’s alive, well, and if I know him at all, constantly kicking. Congrats again.


Impossible. Helen Thomas Is Indestructible, People.

June 9, 2008

Helen Thomas

“Washington, D.C. legend Helen Thomas has been off the job for the past three weeks suffering from a gastric infection that has caused her to miss her weekly column for Hearst Newspapers, according to Hearst D.C. Bureau Chief Chuck Lewis.” [E&P]

Oooh! An octogenarian “gastric infection!” Just in time for the lunch hour! You can thank me later. (Um. Ew, gross, Helen Thomas’ rattley insides, ew, ew, retch.)


Impossible. Helen Thomas Is Indestructible, People.

June 9, 2008

Helen Thomas

“Washington, D.C. legend Helen Thomas has been off the job for the past three weeks suffering from a gastric infection that has caused her to miss her weekly column for Hearst Newspapers, according to Hearst D.C. Bureau Chief Chuck Lewis.” [E&P]

Oooh! An octogenarian “gastric infection!” Just in time for the lunch hour! You can thank me later. (Um. Ew, gross, Helen Thomas’ rattley insides, ew, ew, retch.)


Toddler Pokes Through Bars At Monkey. Who Then, Quite Naturally, Bites Off Tyke’s Finger

June 9, 2008

Monkey And this is somehow the monkey’s fault? Oh and of course they’re going to off the chimp so it can be tested for rabies. Nice. [Newsday]


Just In Time To Cause Panic Amongst Suburban Mothers Who Thought CitiHabitats Would Protect Their Young Grads

June 9, 2008

Harrodsdoorman-2 “A woman was found stabbed to death in her Chelsea apartment late Sunday, police said…Investigators are combing the area and also trying to determine how her assailant got into her building, which is staffed by a doorman.” [WCBS]

I had no idea that doormen were armed with special powers with which to ward off the crazy neighbors already inside! Not to mention those regular visitors whom they regularly motion right upstairs! Perhaps New Yorkers would be safer if all doormen were required to dress like the Harrod’s doormen in London. Even crazy stab-happyists wouldn’t go near a dude dressed like a leprechaun.


That Black Man Looks Not At All Menacing, Cablevision

June 6, 2008

urbanprogramming2.jpg
Cablevision, for the love of God. Seriously? Why not just call it Ghetto Programming Starring Negroes and call it a day?